My Chicago Top Ten

Top ten reasons why Chicago is the the most underrated city in America

10. Amazing food
  9. Art
  8. Famous architecture
  7. Shopping
  6. Left winged friendly peeps
  5. 24 hour fresh tacos
  4. Pizza
  3.  Lake Michigan
  2. Classic grungy blues bars
  1. Standing ovation reception from men just for  walking by x2

Thanks Jana for the best Birthday weekend getaway this gal has ever had! Love you!

Fuck Cancer

Today was.....let me just say this...I kicked my shoes and boots clear across the room...like about five or six times. I just kept kicking them until they were scattered across the floor....

They say you hurt the ones you love the most.

I got into my car and sobbed...all the way to Luna Blue, my favourite store where I thought I would find SOMETHING to make me feel better. Of course not. Nothing can help the fact that I'm losing my Dad.

What do you wear on a date with a Stunt Man?

I'm getting getting ready for a date with my friend Markus and his brother Justin. Yep, that's right a tri-date. Justin and I have never met and Markus thinks this is the most comfortable way for us to meet. I disagree, but am trying to stay open.

Once before, many years ago, I was set up in a similar way...few friends, less uncomfortable, and coincidental it was the same place.  Well this ended up being in my top 5 worst dates for sure. Justin was late, but his five closest friends were not. They got to know everything about me before I even finished my first drink. Then when Justin finally showed up, so did his 20 friends from ? high school, Saskatchewan? I'm not sure but it felt like I was at a high school reunion, including the x-girlfriend  announcing her engagement to the better man she broke up with Justin to be with. When I found out Markus's brother had the same name. I mostly laughed.... but I'm not gonna lie, warning bells crept in and silently rang.

What great practice for seeing things with fresh eyes. Staying open to possibility and love is hard especially when we all have past experiences packed away in bags. Leave the luggage behind. Its not to be carried or disguised in pretty colors and textures. Inner wisdom and intuition is all that is needed. Plus a credit card for a possible quick get-a-way. Perhaps all that is needed on my date with a stunt man. But I might bring my helmet just in case.

I can't breathe

Six feet Under

Remember that show? So Brilliant, so real. Up close and personal with Death, which really is the part of life that no one wants to ever speak about. The ultimate goodbye; the birth of a legacy.

I remember personalizing myself with several episodes and finding great life lessons in others...

Don't leave anything unfinished.  Don't let important words go unspoken. Spent time with those you care about now.  Be vulnerable.  Be mindful. Cherish precious people and moments. Don't take those you care about most for granted. Don't wait. If you can choose between being right and being kind; choose kindness every time. Always say 'I love you'

I love you Dad. 

Rapture

Likely not, but why not hit the bucket list anyway....do something that scares you.....tell someone you love them...be present in every moment

Evolve

The one thing in life we can count on is change. The sun continues to rise and fall each day and night like breath by moments. With such familiarity you'd think making shifts would be slightly comfortable. Fear gets intense, interesting....annoying. Or is it the unknown that is annoying? The perception of lacking. We really only have control from one moment to the next - everything else doesn't exist - No that's not true either. It forms our thoughts, ideas, dreams, and creation. Hmmmm, control seems to be starting to seep into my manifesto. Or is the fear a dream coming true? Change is all around me right now. EVERYWHERE. Its what I want. It's what I see. It's fucking kicking my ass...........Interesting for me, I've been watching someone close to me lose an incredible amount of weight. So far already it looks like she's shed another person. I get to see her often, so I'm privy to this amazing metamorphosis of mind, body, and spirit. It's so tangible. Possibility transforming right in front of me. What a gift. Sometimes I'll just be going about things, as you do and then I'll find myself knocked over and moved to pause in awe of this unfolding incredible event. Shedding layers, emerging light, moving freely from sleep and darkness............. I've missed me. I don't even know where I was. All I know is I'm back, and I won't go away again. I promise to stay connected.

sigh

man does it feel good to breathe.......... a not nearly as simple as you'd think moment. rush........ flows longer than you'd like sometimes. so busy that I don't even know what my busy is about. .....then what? .....watching the slow and curious process of nature. unwinding unfolding deciding its story of what is and will be. Go