Been thinking about this a lot. How often times we can let our expectations take over....the idea. We then tend to stop paying attention what is really going on....whats real. So involved in the stories we create in our head that we lose sight of the present moment. This can occur all to easily when dating. You get caught up in what you want to see, create, and feel. For sure these are important things to consider, but the downfall comes in when we start to ignore what we don't want to see. AND...when we continue to wait for it to get better....
So how do we let go of expectations?
Jon Kabat-Zinn teaches the concepts of 'acceptance' and 'letting go' as part of the pillars of Mindfulness or being in the present moment. Acceptance involves seeing things as they truly are in the present. The alternative is spending much of our energy trying to force something to be different, aka: beating a dead horse, or as a gal I work with calls it, 'feeding the hope bear'. By spending our energy trying to force something to be different actually can create more tension and prevent positive things from occurring. This does not mean abandoning your values and principals, it simply means no longer resisting.
Letting go, is similar to me, but feels more difficult. Often our minds get caught up on a certain thought or idea, even though we KNOW no good can come from it. Or we become attached to what we perceive as a desired outcome. This not only takes you away from what is, but can lead to more dissatisfaction as well as further disappointment.
Well I'm sure ready to let go of my disappointing dating experience. I think I've fattened up the 'hope bear' and am ready to put it on a firm exercise and diet regime.
